It has been some time since my last post. As John Lennon wisely said, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”
December has crept up on me this year. I recently celebrated my 72nd birthday and have now been living in Italy for almost seven years. I genuinely enjoy being a straniera in Italia, a non-native resident here. However, I have faced some struggles along the way.
Over the past 18 months, I’ve encountered many challenges. Some of these have been physical. When I turned 70, I felt as though I was still in my 50s. I have dealt with health issues since childhood and almost hesitated to move to Italy due to concerns about these challenges. Thankfully, they have not posed significant problems. The healthcare professionals here are as competent as those in the USA.
Nonetheless, I now feel my age more acutely as my body presents new health challenges. I want to clarify: IT IS NOT CANCER. I’m not facing imminent death. However, I do have new health issues to manage and new medications to take as I navigate the aging process.
I have always considered myself a fighter, which has helped me survive, thrive in my career, and navigate life. Yet, this is one battle I can’t win. Aging is simply a part of life. It isn’t easy, and as they say, “Getting old is not for sissies.”
It took me 18 months to acclimate to the quirks of life in Italy. It feels as though I’ve been wrestling with myself during this latest phase. How do others manage this? I genuinely want to know.
Another aspect of aging that weighs heavily on me is watching my family and friends grow older as well. Since relocating to Italy, I have lost two friends to cancer, six beloved Italian relatives, and seven American relatives who were very dear to me. I have also lost a few musician friends with whom I shared a familial bond. It feels as though a piece of my musical soul has been taken from me.
I DESPISE THIS.
In addition to these losses, friends and family members have been falling ill. Just a few weeks ago, my sister’s dog—who had been a source of healing for me—passed away unexpectedly.
After my cousin Pat’s passing, I spent an hour on the phone with his brother. We cried, shared funny memories, and provided each other support. I think we both needed that moment. I have missed attending funerals, those heart-wrenching gatherings where we come together to share both grief and cherished memories. This realization has made me understand why all these events—big and small—have affected me so deeply.
I needed to take a step back and allow myself to feel everything in order to accept it and come to terms with the reality of life.
My healing journey began with moments of silence and a withdrawal from social engagements. The next essential element for my soul’s healing was music—lots of it.
Conversations across the miles with my daughter, granddaughter, and even my 99-year-old father, who has dementia, have provided me with a healing experience.
NOTE: One unexpected joy of having a father with dementia is that he sang “Happy Birthday” to me five times. At his age, he still sings in tune!
Please bear with me. There will be more stories about my travels and adventures in Italy. For now, I need to reflect on life and enjoy dancing in my living room.
P.S. Please excuse any typos. My computer seems to have failed, so I’m typing this on my phone.
Buone Feste. Happy holidays.
