How to Handle Toxic Individuals

A toxic person can appear in many forms—like a partner, family member, friend, boss, or even a stranger unloading their anger onto someone else. No matter how you encounter them, their behavior is simply unkind, unnecessary, and painful. It’s important to remember that everyone behaves according to their own level of awareness. A person’s actions say more about them than they do about you. The universe teaches us that everyone we meet has something to teach us, either for our growth or for us to enlighten others. In this article, we will explore what defines a toxic person, why you might find yourself in their company, and how to remove such individuals from your life.

The term “toxic” refers to negativity. A toxic person is someone harboring a great deal of negativity inside. Instead of addressing their own pain, they project their negativity onto others around them.

A toxic person tries to belittle you and elevate themselves at your expense. They thrive on making others feel small.

A clear sign of a toxic person is the energy you feel when you’re around them. If you feel weighed down, anxious, sad, or exhausted, that’s a clear indication that they are toxic to your wellbeing, regardless of what your mind may tell you.

Often, a person reveals their true nature right from the start. If someone starts speaking poorly about others when you first meet them, it indicates a lot about their character. It’s likely they will speak about you in the same way when you’re not around. You can identify a toxic person within the first few minutes of meeting them.

Toxic individuals often haven’t addressed their own deep-seated wounds and traumas. They may not even recognize the harm they inflict on others because they are blind to their own negative behaviors. Out of insecurity and internal pain, they seek to feel powerful by undermining others. They target people who also struggle with their self-worth, often influenced by childhood trauma or people-pleasing tendencies.

When you’re surrounded by someone toxic, it’s often an opportunity for personal growth or for you to act as a mentor.

Many of these situations can be traced back to childhood. This is when we form our beliefs and set the foundations for how we allow others to treat us. While many people grow up with loving parents, those parents may also pass on their own wounds, resulting in ongoing cycles of trauma showcased in adult relationships. It often becomes necessary to revisit your childhood experiences, understand where the pain originated, and heal your inner child.

If there are family members who are difficult to be around, there may be deep lessons hiding within these relationships. Since family is for life, this dynamic often holds the key to healing future toxic relationships. Sometimes, taking time apart is necessary to reflect and allow for personal growth before reconstructing a healthier bond.

Having toxic people in your life often signals a lack of self-worth or unresolved wounds that need attention. Toxic relationships can serve as catalysts to reclaim your power, speak up for yourself, and prioritize your well-being. It’s important to remember that breaking a toxic bond can lead to personal growth and the ability to attract healthier relationships in the future.

Your external reality mirrors your inner state. If you carry unresolved wounds, you will attract unfavorable situations and people. However, once you heal, you can break those patterns and draw in positive energy. To learn more, check out my article on the
5 steps to break free from repeating patterns.
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Sometimes, you may find yourself around someone who desperately needs your light and the tools you possess. You might be in a position to show them what they can become if they are willing to work on their issues. However, these interactions are unlikely to last long.

Having a toxic person in your life drains your energy and happiness. Ultimately, it is your responsibility to set boundaries and remove such individuals from your life.

Recognizing a toxic person and acting on your feelings to distance yourself can be a profound lesson for many people. In some family situations, it might be necessary to take a break to allow for personal growth before reestablishing a healthier connection. However, in most relationships—whether romantic, platonic, or professional—it’s crucial to remove toxic people and not look back. So, how do you achieve this?

First, understand what you need to learn. Do you need to learn to advocate for yourself? If you frequently find yourself belittled, shouted at, or inaccurately accused without speaking up, it’s time to change that. Approach the situation calmly and assertively, using facts and avoiding engaging in childish arguments. By doing this, you can break the cycle of toxic behavior directed at you. Standing up for yourself is a significant accomplishment.

When someone belittles you, such as a boss yelling at you unfairly, calmly assert yourself by explaining the situation as it is, and addressing their disrespectful behavior. This approach not only asserts your worth but also establishes boundaries with individuals who have previously disregarded them.

It’s natural to fear potential repercussions, like losing your job. However, consider this: every challenging situation serves as an opportunity for self-discovery, and the universe rewards your commitment to self-development. By standing your ground, new, more positive experiences and relationships may flourish.

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissistic partner and are afraid to speak up for fear of them leaving, ask yourself: why would you want to be with someone who undermines your worth? Communicate your feelings and do not allow anyone to disrespect you.

If your friends consistently make you feel inferior, it’s time to stop spending time with them. Protect your energy and know that true friends who resonate with you will come into your life.

Reflect on these questions:

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  What behavior from others angers you regarding how they treat you?
  

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  When did someone start treating you poorly in your life?
  

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  How often in your past have you experienced unkind treatment, and from whom?
  

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  When do you say yes when you really want to say no?
  

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  When do you allow others to step all over you without asserting yourself?
  

Identifying these patterns allows you to pursue healing through journaling, breathwork, meditation, and forgiveness exercises. Once you address these deeper wounds, you’ll find it easier to break free from toxic individuals.

Consider this: if you had a daughter who lived with a difficult boss, a rude boyfriend, or a friend who constantly belittled her, wouldn’t you tell her how valuable she is and help her remove those negative influences? Treat yourself with the same compassion and take the necessary steps to invite love, kindness, and positivity into your life.

Ultimately, every situation in our lives provides an opportunity for growth. Unresolved issues tend to repeat themselves through various scenarios and individuals. For instance, if you struggle with asserting yourself due to past rejections, you may find partners and friends who also disrespect your voice. Until you prioritize your worth and break these cycles, similar patterns will continue to manifest. Once you do, you’ll notice these toxic relationships dissolving, along with an uplifting shift within yourself.

We are the generation of change!