Photo by Diane Taylor
Throughout my life, I’ve been somewhat of a celebrity enthusiast. I once had a subscription to People Magazine, frequently checked TMZ, and I’m an avid follower of John Katsilometes’ column in the Review-Journal.
Just last week, while getting a perm at the hair salon, I found myself with some downtime as the treatment set in. Thankfully, my salon had a collection of movie magazines to pass the time. I can’t help but wonder if they still call them “movie magazines” nowadays, considering there aren’t as many traditional movie stars around—perhaps they should be called “cable and movie star magazines” instead?
While flipping through one magazine, I recognized a few names, but was astonished to find many others were unfamiliar to me. It’s true that I’m older and that younger celebrities are now the focus, but still! For instance, in a “Who Wore It Best” feature with six stars, I recognized only one name: Mary Steenburgen (though I couldn’t quite recall why). The others—Brynn Whitfield, Felicity Jones, Dua Lipa, Chloe Bailey, and Francesca Farago—were complete strangers to me.
Photo by Diane Taylor
Could it be that many of these individuals are TV stars, and perhaps I’m not watching enough television? Come on. I’m retired, and with the heat making the television sigh all day, I often find myself reading instead.
Feeling disoriented from not recognizing those names, I decided to delve into celebrity culture more and picked up two magazines during a shopping trip to Smith’s: People and Enquirer (the only options available).
Thankfully, I found more familiar names in those publications: Christopher Reeve and Harry and Meghan graced the covers. Inside, on the Star Tracks page, I recognized three out of five featured names: J Lo, Ben Stiller, and Demi Moore. However, I had no clue who Golding or Nelly Furtado were. Older familiar faces included Kelsey Grammer, Elton John, Nicole Kidman, Carmen Electra, Alec Baldwin, and even Martha Stewart. Snoop Dog was also featured in a two-page ad, and while I’ve heard of him, I’ve never bought any of his movies or recordings.
Photo by Diane Taylor
James Earl Jones was featured in People, and his presence, along with that incredible voice, was delightful. A two-page article spotlighted a well-built young man named Chase Stokes (a name that seems a bit too good to be true)—I didn’t read it since I hadn’t heard of him, but I must admit, he could still make my heart race.
There were also a lot of makeup ads at the end of People. If young readers buy this magazine, why do they need so much makeup? They already look fantastic without it.
One article in the Enquirer claimed that Suzanne Somers’ spirit is “communicating with her husband” from the afterlife. While I do recognize Suzanne, I doubt she’s chatting from beyond—unless it’s to promote something. Another article mentioned Katie Couric’s “hair loss,” featuring a photo where she appeared nearly bald, but concluded ambiguously that perhaps her hair was fine after all.
Simone Biles, Richard Simmons, and Coco Austin were also subjects in the Enquirer. Is Coco still relevant? I had no idea. A new magazine called Drew (as in Barrymore) has hit the shelves. No thanks, though I do like her! Tom Cruise and his Olympic skydive were also covered.
Hooray! While I may be beyond the likes of Bob Hope, Satchel Paige, Perry Como, and Sonja Henie, I find I am not completely out of touch after all.
